What no one told me about spirituality.

spirituality

It’s not all “good vibes only.” It’s painful at times. It’s rebuilding yourself over and over again. It’s going through hell & back for the sake of your highest self.

It’s forcing to make yourself to feel the stuff you’d rather numb yourself to. It’s making choices that pain your heart & your ego to free your soul. It’s cutting ties with the person you love because you know deep down, it’s what’s going to make you heal. It’s listening to the harsh truths of the Universe rather than the comforting lies of the ego. It’s sacrificing temporary happiness for long-term peace.

–

It’s easily the most painful, ruthless journey I’ve ever been on, but God, l’ll be damned if it’s not the most beautiful.

black lives matter

Some of you have it all wrong. You really do. What good does hating do? Spreading hate & negativity does nothing but add to the hate. Yes, it’s no secret that racism exists— but now what? Instead of sharing videos of police brutality along with some angry caption, why don’t you share resources for the BIPOC (black-indigenous-people-of-color) community? Use your voice in a productive way. There are really so many ways to vent and cope with our pain in productive ways… advocacy, writing, volunteer work, fundraising, etc. Pain can be such a powerful tool if we use it the right way. You don’t need to raise hell to spread a message. There’s so much hate in the world; please don’t become part of the problem. Let the pain fuel you, but to only want to do good & be a positive change.

♡ a (practical) tip for manifestation.

spirituality

The part I’ve always hated about manifestation is the waiting. Sometimes honestly, it can feel like we’re waiting for something that may or may not come.

One thing that has been helping me is saying to myself,

”Tomorrow is the day it’s going to happen.”

And I keep telling myself that every single day until it comes true. ♡

”We’re all just really good actors.”

spirituality

ˑ༄ؘ ۪۪۫۫ ▹◃ ۪۪۫۫ ༄ؘ ˑ

In this movie known as life, we are all actors. We just go around day by day playing roles. We try to play convincing characters. Everything we do is to keep up the role that we feel obligated to play. And we’re so convincing that even we don’t know who we are.

The truth? We are not who we think we are. We’ve been lied to. Our physical bodies are simply the way that we act out particular roles. Our true selves are our souls, where we no longer have to pretend, where we are pure light & nothing else. Unfortunately, most of us do not meet our souls until we transcend the earthly realm. Only a select few actually get a glimpse of our souls here on Earth. If we’re lucky, we’ll tap into our soul & see who we really are underneath the characters that we play.

ˑ༄ؘ ۪۪۫۫ ▹◃ ۪۪۫۫ ༄ؘ ˑ

some art i made.

(post inspired by this YouTube video.)

let’s talk about sex.

sexuality

Yes. Sex. S-E-X. What about that word makes us so uncomfortable– as a society, as a culture, as human beings? When did it become so taboo to engage in it or to simply enjoy it? Where did this belief come from? Is it even ours? Think about it. Sit with it.

I ask the last question because some beliefs aren’t even ours. We carry them yet somewhere deep inside ourselves, we know that they have come from some unknown outside source. This source? Some call it the Universe; others call it God. They are derived from somewhere other than the Soul or mind, and we know that. So many of us have this inner knowing yet are afraid to question. You see, many of us just accept this one reality because it’s easier to. We don’t want to confront the unknown. We’d rather stay where it’s comfortable. I ask you today to embrace those parts of you that make you uncomfortable. Go beyond the realm of human consciousness. Seek with the Soul rather than the mind. See what you find. ✧*:･ﾟ

I hate that a desire that makes us so innately human, down to our very core, somehow makes us perceived as less then.

Enjoying being sexual beings, in whatever capacity that may look like — whether that be engaging in sexual acts, watching pornography, looking at erotic art, admiring our own bodies, showing off our bodies — is human. We all have bodies, therefore we all have the capacity to be sexual. Being sexual is just apart of this crazy, mystical experience known as a human existence. So why shy away from that? If we judge others for being sexual, we judge others for being human. No aspect of our humanity is shameful.

Instead of fighting to ignore aspects of our very being, let’s embrace what makes us so uniquely, beautifully human. Let’s explore our sexuality to its full extent. I look at embracing sexuality as empowerment, as another form of self love. It’s coming into our own Divine power. It’s being as the Universe intended.

✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: 　　 :･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧

dear child self,

healing

It’s you, from the future. i see your pain. I know you’re hurting. You’re hurting badly, so badly that not even you realize it until years later. You think you’re just a normal kid, but in retrospect, you’ll realize that couldn’t have been further from the truth. You aren’t happy. You’re suffering. You’re scared. You cry every single day. You wonder why. You ask your mom if it’s normal to cry everyday. Something is just ..off. You just don’t have a word for it yet. You feel like an outcast, crippled with anxiety & afraid you’ll never have friends like all the other kids. You’re so socially anxious that your mom has to tell you to look at people when they’re talking to you. You long for an escape.

o｡..:*

But, make no mistake: This isn’t a sad letter because about ten years later, you won’t feel so different after all. You will find friends that love & accept you for you and who will teach you that you’re somebody worth loving. You will have experiences you never thought you would have, such as crying tears of laughter with your best friend at 3am. These are experiences you’re crying about right now because you think there’s no way you could ever have a true friend. Well, spoiler alert: You do. And a lot of them. You think you don’t have a future. You don’t have anything you’re particularly good at, unlike all your friends. That makes you feel inadequate. But what if i told you that at age 22, you will have graduated college with a bachelors degree in Psychology and are in graduate school studying to become a professional counselor? AND, you’ll have over two years of crisis counseling under your belt at an amazing organization saving & helping others along with thousands of other amazing people. You’ll find your niche. You’ll smile because you will have finally found your place in the world. You’ll have this overwhelming sense of belonging & passion that fills your bones. You’ll be making a difference, a real difference. You will have begun the eternal journey of awakening to your highest self. You’ll realize that you can transcend reality just by using your mind. You will have built a world inside yourself that goes beyond this limited human existence & where everything is blissful. Whenever you need to escape, all you’ll have to do is go within yourself. You’ll know what Divine love is. It is in you; it is you. You don’t have to be scared anymore. You’re safe here.


✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Life will be good. You’ll find your way, I promise you. Just hold on a little longer. ･ﾟﾟ･｡

Your friend,

Your 22 year old self

lessons from Mother Earth~ ♡♡♡

spirituality

ℑ 𝔴𝔞𝔫𝔱 𝔱𝔬 𝔟𝔢 𝔩𝔦𝔨𝔢 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔬𝔠𝔢𝔞𝔫..
𝔦𝔱 𝔣𝔩𝔬𝔴𝔰 & 𝔣𝔩𝔬𝔴𝔰
𝔴𝔦𝔱𝔥𝔬𝔲𝔱 𝔡𝔦𝔯𝔢𝔠𝔱𝔦𝔬𝔫
𝔴𝔦𝔱𝔥𝔬𝔲𝔱 𝔭𝔲𝔯𝔭𝔬𝔰𝔢
𝔦𝔱 𝔧𝔲𝔰𝔱 𝔦𝔰.
𝔫𝔢𝔳𝔢𝔯 𝔴𝔞𝔫𝔱𝔦𝔫𝔤.
𝔰𝔬 𝔠𝔬𝔫𝔱𝔢𝔫𝔱
𝔰𝔬 𝔭𝔢𝔞𝔠𝔢𝔣𝔲𝔩
𝔰𝔬 𝔟𝔩𝔦𝔰𝔰𝔣𝔲𝔩
𝔰𝔬 𝔴𝔥𝔬𝔩𝔢
~
𝔢𝔳𝔢𝔯𝔶𝔱𝔥𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔦 𝔞𝔰𝔭𝔦𝔯𝔢 𝔱𝔬 𝔟𝔢.

☆○o。。o○☆

That’s the beautiful thing about nature. The trees, the ocean, the flowers, animals… They all remind us that we don’t need to be perfect to be beautiful. They move without objective. They just are. They’re not striving to go anywhere or do anything. Human intelligence seems to be the enemy. We learn the most valuable life lessons not from books, but from nature. Nature is our greatest teacher. Want to learn how to live a happy life? Listen to nature. Everything in nature just flows without the fear of not being good enough, without the fear of not living up to some man-made construct, without the need to be better… Everything except the human being. If we all learned and practiced the art of non-doing, just as the trees have done, we would be better off. The next time you’re out in nature, just observe. You’ll be surprised at how much you learn.

2020: the year of ascension

spirituality

*:･✧*:･༺♥༻∞ ) O ( *:･✧*:･༺♥༻∞

2020 is going to be the year of ASCENSION. I can feel it. A huge shift is upon us. It has already begun. Big things are coming, not only on a personal level but on a collective level as well. 2020 means perfect vision, mental & spiritual clarity. Also, when reduced to a single digit, 2020’s base vibration is the number 4 which means growth & building a strong foundation. That’s why we have to do all the hard work now, to make this shift as seemless as possible. We must uncover our authentic selves and release what no longer serves us (easier said than done, ha). The energy is pulsing through my veins. Our higher selves are going to be showing up more & more. More & more people are going to awaken. This is the New Age. This is a huge relief for me because the past couple months have been particularly difficult for me, but whenever I think of the upcoming year, I feel this overwhelming sense of optimism & cosmic energy flowing through me. 2020 is going to be the year of change. I can feel it. I know I’m not the only one either. So many, on a collective level, are feeling it too. So many are feeling this energetic shift. Get ready, because 2020 has something big in store for us. 🔥🙏

recovery tip: stop identifying with your depression.

mental health

“Who are you?” For the average person, that question is probably a no-brainer. For those with depression, they might have no clue. That’s because to them, they are their depression. It is them. Depression consumes their every waking thought, so much so that there’s no room for anything else. They might listen to sad songs, post about their depression on social media.. Their entire existence revolves around it.

Want to know why recovery from depression is so daunting? Because recovery means having to let go of something. And when depression becomes your identity, letting go means having to let go of your identity. And when you have nothing else to take its place, you cling. You don’t want to rebuild. It’s too exhausting. You’d rather stay stuck. It may be painful, but at least it’s familiar.

I equate recovering from depression to recovering after a hurricane. It wipes out everything in your path leaving you with nothing and with no choice but to rebuild.

So how do you rebuild? You try. You take baby steps. You keep trying new (or old) things until someday, something sticks. Then, you keep building and building. And eventually, that becomes your new identity. You don’t need your depression anymore because you’ve found who you are without it, and who you are without it looks 1000x better than who you were with it. You’ll be like, “oh, you know what? I’m actually so much bigger than my depression. I’m my hobbies, my interests, my passions.” Nothing you are will have anything to do with your depression anymore. Once depression no longer takes up 100% of your mind, you suddenly have a whole bunch of room for other things to take its place. That’s what makes recovery so terrifying. What do you do with all this extra room you never had?

The choice is up to you. For me, it’s spirituality, writing, digital art; For you, it may be singing, cooking, community service.

It probably will feel very unnatural at first. You will feel tempted to revert back to your old ways because it’s a hell of a lot easier than having to do all the work of finding yourself. Don’t. Fight the temptation. Depression doesn’t have to be your legacy. There’s a whole other life out there and it might seem terrifying, but once you find and get used to it, it’s freaking beautiful. Welcome recovery even if it’s terrifying, even when everything in you is screaming to give up. Trust that all this confusion has a purpose. Do it even when you can’t trust it. Do it because there’s nothing else to lose. Do it because you know anything has to be better than the life you’re living now. Keep fighting because your life is worth it. It’s worth all the confusion, all the discomfort, all the exhaustion. Keep fighting because you deserve to get to know who you are underneath all that depression.

♡ I find peace amongst the chaos.

spirituality

sigil magick: the art of using symbols and imagery to manifest a specific intent or outcome

*:･✧*:･༺♥༻∞

sometimes, spirituality is all i have: the light in dark places. no matter what i have or don’t have, my spirituality is the one thing that is always with me — the one thing that cannot abandon me or that i can’t push away.

✿ let’s talk art.

self care

Create. Create often. Create even if it’s not “good.” Create even if no one sees it. Create even if no one cares. Create even if it doesn’t get popular. Create even if you post it, and it gets no likes and/or comments. Create because you enjoy it. Create just for the sake of creating. Create because that’s what makes you feel alive. Just. Create.

Forget the notion that we *need* to be good at something for it to be considered a hobby, the notion that tells us that our art isn’t good enough if it doesn’t get 10k shares. That’s plain bs. Art is good enough because it’s art. Art is b e a u t i f u l. Everything that was ever sketched, or painted, or colored, or written, or digitally created (yes, that includes edits created from editing apps) is beautiful — from the simple 5-minute sloppy sketch to the elaborate painting that took over a year. Even a doodle of a flower or smiley face is beautiful. Those poems on Instagram you see as captions that have grammar errors that took probably ten minutes? Beautiful. This tiny blog post? Beautiful.

I always had a love for creating, but I never really got into it because I was never that good at it. I don’t have a steady hand, and I can’t even draw a straight line. So I decided I’d never even attempt to create anything because why even try? …Then one day, a couple months ago, I said, “screw it.” I was tired of being held back from doing something I love just because my art would never be something that would get 10k shares — I’m lucky if I get 5 likes on my art account — but I just don’t care anymore. Numbers don’t mean anything. Sure, I’d love if my drawings got shared or even commented on, but I’m not going to stop creating because no one fawns over them. That’s not why I do it. I do it because that’s what makes me feel alive. Creating is something that brings me genuine happiness, just knowing I made something that is 100% me. I love exploring this creative side of me. I love being crazy & imperfect & knowing it all has a place in this world. That’s self-love for me. To me, self-love is about loving things you love and loving those parts within yourself.

So, over the past couple months — in the midst of being a grad student — I’ve gotten into creating art. I draw, I write, I color & every once in a while when I’m given the chance, I paint. Even if my art is just me sporadically painting 6 colors onto a sugar skull without an outcome in mind. But I LOVE that. I love just going crazy with art and not really caring. I love that. The messier, the better. No art can ever be ugly. And I am so so SO happy because they’re things I’ve always wanted to do, but my insecurities stopped me. I’ve also wanted to make a website/blog for years which I’m finally doing 🙂